On the Way Down
by Suzuki-chan
Summary: When Harry uses all of his magic to stop himself from attempting suicide, will he ever get his magic back, or will he remain a squib? Does contain a suicide attempt. Post HBP. HPSS
1. On the Way Down

**Author's Note:** Hey, it's a fic with a happy ending! This is dedicated to **Saadia10** who gave me the lovely challenge to write a fic with a happy ending. So, **Saadia10**, this fic is dedicated to you!

Also, this fic goes to the song, _'On the Way Down,'_ by Ryan Cabrera. I heard it in the car and fell in love with it. It is something I would write, a little depressing, but it has a happy ending. I'm not guaranteeing it won't be sappy, but I will try to make it as good as I can! So, enjoy while I get to the other junk.

**WARNING:** Adult themes

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, only the plot.

**Pairing:** Harry Potter/Severus Snape

_Now on with the story..._

**On the Way Down**

Harry didn't want to fight Voldemort. He didn't want to see anymore people he loved die. No one would die if it was up to him. He would go first. He knew Dumbledore would disapprove, but he had it all planned out. Right there, the first Quidditch game of his sixth year, perfect, no having to deal with Voldemort like he always did. Slytherin would be happy that they had finally beaten Gryffindor. That would be one for the record books.

Harry smiled as he finished putting his Quidditch robes on. He turned to Ron and said, "Are you ready for the match?"

Ron turned around nervously and said, "Yeah, sure, I guess."

Harry laughed lightly and patted Ron on the back, "You'll be fine."

Ron smiled and Harry addressed the team. "Win or lose, we will always be a team. No need to feel shame, just go out there and try your hardest." Everyone nodded their heads and smiled at Harry. No one asked why it seemed as if Harry was saying his goodbye to everyone; they just thought it was odd that he would think they would lose. How could they, they had _the_ Harry Potter on their team, the so-called _greatest_ team to ever be assembled in Hogwarts. He had chosen the people well for a rookie captain.

Harry had kept Ron as his keeper, Ginny became a chaser, Yuri Scott, a second year, became a chaser, a very good one at that. Anne Lewender, a fifth year, became a chaser as well. Cameron and Shawn Malver, twin fourth years, which were really strong, became beaters.Harry stayed as seeker and had gotten off his suspension, for _'good deeds.'_

Harry and his team had trained really hard. They never saw Harry look to the ground and wonder if his time was then, now, or later. Never in all their lives would they expect him to do what he was going to do. Harry nodded his heads and everyone walked to the entrance of the pitch. He nodded his head again and everyone mounted their brooms. As their names were called, they went out onto the pitch to the roar of the crowd.

Harry contemplated as his name was called. His last coherent thought before he went up to shake Draco's hand was, _'Severus.'_

Harry hated the world as soon as he shook Draco's hand. He pulled Draco to him and whispered in Draco's ear, "Catch the snitch."

Draco pulled back, utterly confused. Harry smiled at him and the whistle blew. Harry shot to the sky and listened as the breeze roared in his ears. Harry's team was doing well ten minutes into the game. The score was already twenty points in their favor. Harry lost the grip on his broom and rolled off it. He caught it at the last minute and swung himself back onto it.

The crowd was filled with anticipation as Harry swung himself onto the broom. It looked as if Harry was struggling to breathe. As if time stopped, Harry slipped off his broom. Falling, diving head-first.

Harry put his hand up and his broom fell freely to him. He caught it and put a leg over it. Harry saw that Hooch was about to blow her whistle, but he just waved her off. She put her whistle down and Harry saw the golden glint of the snitch. He noticed Draco not going for it. Harry looked over to Severus, his face full of concern for Harry. Harry smiled and shrugged his shoulders. He turned back to the snitch and saw it ascending to the clouds. Harry whistled and Draco turned to see Harry pointing up at a glint of gold. He and Harry went after it full speed.

Neck and neck, they ascended up into the clouds. Hands outstretched, nearly thirty stories up, Harry turned to Draco and said, "Catch it, Draco. I'll see you later."

Draco turned to Harry and saw as Harry lifted both hands off his broom and fell backwards, back arched. Stunned, Draco stopped and stared until he could no longer see Harry through the clouds. He finally shook himself out of his stupor and yelled, "SHIT!" Draco shot down after Harry's body.

Draco saw Harry falling faster than his broom would go. He began panicking. He screamed and the whole pitch looked up into the clouds in time to see Harry's body diving through the clouds. Screams erupted.

Harry's mind traveled through memories. The first one was the memories of Sirius and the time Sirius went through the veil. Then the memory of Harry's first cutting. He cringed and then thought about the time he did it at school and got caught.

_Snape had found him in an abandoned corridor of the castle. Harry was bleeding profusely and he was slowly slipping into and out of consciousness. The first words out of Harry's mouth before he fainted were, "Don't tell anyone, it's a secret."_

_Severus stared at Harry and shook his head. 'He is way out of it,' Severus shook his head and picked Harry up and ran him to his chambers. He laid Harry on his couch and ran to his potions supply and pulled out a blood replenishing potion. He ran back to Harry and sealed the wound magically and gave Harry the potion. "Well Mr. Potter, I guess you will be staying here for the night so I can look after you. Insufferable brat." Severus was mumbling to himself. He conjured up a bandage wrap and wrapped it around Harry's wrist. He saw the many other white lines and sighed. They would talk about that another time._

Harry's mind flashed to the memory of him being held behind in Potions class.

_He was nervous. He didn't know if he did anything wrong or what, but he was confused._

_"Mr. Potter, you know that I am aware of your self-mutilation. Now, are we going to talk about this civilly, or are we going to have to involve the Headmaster?"_

_Severus was being stern. Harry answered quietly, "I will talk civilly."_

_Severus nodded and began talking._

That was how it all began. When Harry felt the need to cut himself, he could go to Severus and talk about his problems. Severus was always listening; he would occasionally throw in his own ideas. They grew close from that point on. Soon, it got really close.

Harry saw Severus in the spectator stands. Harry's insides squirmed with guilt. Severus looked so fearful. He never wanted to see Severus look that way. Closer and closer the ground Harry approached. His eyes filled with tears. He never meant to hurt Severus.

Harry didn't realize how many people he was hurting if he was gone. He was leaving behind all hope for the Wizarding World's survival. His friends' happiness and the happiness of others. With all his will, he thought of how much his parents and Sirius would react to seeing him again and having done such an awful thing to get to wherever they are.

The sunlight hit Harry's face and his eyes scrunched up in the light. Of course he was still alive, but he had fifteen stories before he hit the ground. Hexes flying everywhere, students trying to catch him, all failed and he continued diving to the ground.

_'I realized it too late, Severus. I'm sorry, but when I look at you, I realize everything I am missing out on. I am leaving it all behind for a silly reason. It can't be helped. What's done is done. There is no going back. If only I had realized this earlier. If only…'_

Down further Harry went and he remembered more.

"_Severus!" Harry yelled into Severus' private chambers. Severus came out from his potions room, apron on, ladle in hand._

"_What!" Severus looked shocked at hearing Harry yelling his name._

_Harry burst out laughing, pointing at Severus' attire. Severus looked down at the apron and ladle and blushed slightly. He pulled theapron off and threw the ladle at Harry, who ducked. "Insufferable brat."_

"_I liked the outfit Severus. Will you wear it for me again?" Harry smirked and walked up to Severus._

"_You wish, Potter." Severus gave Harry a mocking look and said, "I'll see you in it though."_

"_Cheater," Harry glared at Severus, Severus just smirked, "With or without clothes underneath?" This time, it was Harry's turn to smirk._

_Severus turned a deep crimson, then cleared his throat, "What did you need, you insufferable brat."_

_Harry scoffed at Severus and said, "To do this." Harry pulled Severus to him and kissed him passionately. Severus was taken aback by Harry's forwardness. He soon gave in and they began fighting for dominance. Severus won (Of course). _

_They pulled back for air. "That is what I came here for you git."_

_Severus grumbled and ruffled Harry's hair. "You are the most insufferable brat. I could get used to you walking in and demanding that."_

_Harry chuckled, "You know it. I'll see you later Severus."_

_Harry winked and walked out the door._

For the few minutes Harry had been falling to the ground, he felt the Wizarding World's burdens lift off of his shoulder. He felt weightless without all oftheir burdens. Floating to the ground was how he felt. No one could rip that feeling from him. Not yet, at least.

He heard yelling throughout all the screaming. _"Albus, stop him!"_

"_Severus, I can't! He is going to fast!"_

"_So, you're telling me we have to wait here and watch him die! Albus, I won't sit here and watch him fall the rest of his way to his death!"_

That's all Harry heard. The rustle of his robes billowing in the wind, the breeze blowing in his ears, prevented him from hearing the rest of the talking. _'I can't let him look like that.' _Harry was looking at Severus. Severus looked so scared. _'You'll be okay Severus, I promise.'_

_Weightless… Weight… Pressure… Thoughts… Magic… Magic…_

Ten stories…

Nine stories…

Falling… Diving… Closer… Closer…

'_I'm almost there. You're all I wanted, needed. Severus, I love you more than you know. I'm going down Severus. Severus, I am going so far down and I never realized how much I am going to miss you. Never again will I take the things I have for granted, especially your love. Severus, I am so incredibly sorry.'_

Harry put his hands up and the tears that flew from his eyes andturned into emeralds. He wrapped his arms around his body and more tears flew from his eyes, all becoming emeralds when they left his eyes. He closed his eyes, bracing himself for the hard impact.

'_I'm ready for what I have put upon myself.'_

'_I won't forget the love you have given me Severus. Through all the times you've picked me up through my pain, and here I am throwing it all away. All away because I don't want to face the path my destiny has laid before me. Selfish, all of it is selfish. I hate myself more than I hate anything.'_

Three stories…

Harry was thinking. That had been all he did, think. He couldn't think anymore. He wanted to shut down all his thoughts. All he wanted was quiet. All he needed was Severus. It seemed he was going to get his wish.

Severus raced out onto the pitch and yelled, "HARRY!"

Harry's eyes shot open and he looked down into Severus' worried tearful eyes. He couldn't let Severus go to Hell and come back because of him. Harry threw his arms out.

One story…

Harry yelled, "STOP!" His magical energy surged and threw out a powerful spell which suspended and stopped everything from moving. Harry was the only person left moving; he slowly touched ground and collapsed from all the energy he had used. He was left with very little magic.

Harry was reduced to a squib. His magical signature was so weak it couldn't hold the spell. The waves of energy vanished and everyone was released from the spell. Harry's body was on the ground. Severus raised his head and the emeralds Harry had cried, fell to the ground. He then turned his head to Harry.

Harry was unconscious and Severus rushed over to him. He put Harry's head in his lap and smacked his cheek lightly. "Come on you insufferable brat, wake up."

Harry grumbled slightly and everyone began approaching the two. Harry opened his extremely green eyes and said, "Severus, I think I have been reduced down to a squib." With that being said, Harry fell back to the world of unconsciousness.

"Potter, we talked about you calling me my surname in public." Severus stood up and levitated Harry's body. "We need to get him to the Hospital Wing now!" Severus yelled and everyone kicked into action, moving to make a path for them to walk. Harry was levitating behind Severus and Severus was running, with the staff behind him, to the Hospital Wing.

Everything was going to be okay…

"Severus! Severus!" Harry yelled into Severus' private chambers.

Severus ran out of his potions room and looked around frantically till his eyes lay on Harry. "Harry!"

It had been two months since Harry had used all his magic. He _had _been reduced down to a squib. Everyone was trying to get Harry's magic back. Every time he tried though, he would get weak. It was an obstacle, but they would get through it. No matter how many times Harry got weak; he would still smile and never let it get to him. He didn't want anyone worrying about him.

Harry wasn't allowed to go to classes that required heavy magical use. They didn't want him to overexert himself. He was allowed to go to Potions and a few other classes just as long as he kept his un-magical self from doing any magic.

One thing that really hurt Harry was the fact that he couldn't fly. If he wanted to fly, he had to have someone with the magic to fly. Harry almost never went flying because of that. He didn't feel free with someone else flying the broom.

"Severus," Harry said, approaching Severus, his wand out, "Look, I can finally cast it. _Wingardium Leviosa!" _A quill that resided on Severus' desk levitated for a few seconds then dropped. Harry fell to his knees, panting.

"Harry!" Severus rushed over to Harry and knelt in front of him. "Harry, you know better than exert your magic like that."

"I know Severus, but I had to show you." Harry smiled at Severus through his panting.

Severus pulled Harry to his chest and said, "You insufferable brat."

* * *

_**To Be Continued...**_

**Author's Note:** Okay, tell me what you think! Was it good? Did it suck royally? Tell me what you think. Oh, and the next chapter of _Nothing is Ever the Same _will be out sometime this weekend so keep an eye out for it. I am also working on a sequel for _Winter Flowers_ so keep an eye out for that one as well.

Thanks for reading! Review please!


	2. Reaching Out

**Author's Note:** To popular demand, there will be more chapters. I don't know how long this story will be, but I guess it depends on reviews. So, with all the wonderful reviews I got, minus a nasty one, I will be posting more of this story. So, thanks to all my reviewers; **Dani**, **Ami**, **Falling Night**, **Oreopet**, **HecateDeMort**, **Miki23**, **KumoriShino**, **Skyler of the Elements**, **Lover not a fighter**, **Desdemona321**, **Ravenwriter**, **Read300300**, **Nightborn Angel**, **IceAngel**, **lonlyheart**, **Rayz**, **scap3goat**, **Rae-J**, **Kiyomi22**, **krr84****valanthe** and **Pilas**. A special thanks to **Saadia10** for giving me the challenge. Please enjoy!

**Warning:** Adult themes and SLASH

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, only the plot.

**Pairing:** Harry Potter/Severus Snape

This is dedicated to **Saadia10**.

_Now, on with the story…_

**Reaching Out**

Harry walked out of Severus' rooms and down the dungeon hallway. _'Why is it always so dark down here? Haven't they ever heard of torches?' _Harry thought as he wrapped his arms around his slim form.

A shuffling noise came from behind him. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up. Harry quickened his pace down the hallway and the shuffling he heard behind him quickened as well. Harry grabbed his wand. He turned sharply and aimed his wand at the shuffling noise. Something rubbed up against his leg and he looked down. Crookshanks meowed and Harry sighed in relief. He knelt down and scratched the chin of Crookshanks. "You scared me Crookshanks."

"You shouldn't be in the dungeons alone, Potter."

Harry jumped a little. He looked up into the eyes of his former nemesis gone secret protector. Harry smiled slightly, "Hello Draco."

Draco scoffed at him, "There are still Slytherins who want your blood. You know that, Potter."

"I came down here to get something," Harry said, picking up Crookshanks.

"With no magic Potter, Slytherins will kill you."

"I know, but it is a risk I take," Harry said, smiling at Draco. Draco turned on his heel.

"Just be careful, Potter. Don't want something bad to happen to you." Draco left and Harry continued down the hall. He came to the flight of stairs and ascended them. Crookshanks was nuzzling into Harry's robes. He chuckled lightly.

"What were you doing down in the dungeons, Crookshanks?" Harry asked the cat. The cat just looked up at him with his big golden eyes. Crookshanks returned to nuzzling into Harry's robe. _'As long as he doesn't mark me as his territory, I am perfectly fine holding him. I wonder if he has sprayed Hermione.'_ Harry smiled outwardly and chuckled inwardly.

Harry walked out and into the Entrance Hall where there were still some lingering students. Christmas break was a few days away. They had one more chance to go to Hogsmeade. Harry was planning on getting Hermione, Ron, Draco, Remus, Dumbledore, and Severus something. Especially Severus and Dumbledore. He had an idea of what he wanted to get Severus, but he had to see if it was really something Severus would like.

Harry was going to stay at Hogwarts, well, not by choice, but because it was the only year they were sending all the students home. Mainly because Hogwarts had become Harry's safe house of sorts. The teachers had to stay at the school in order to make sure the wards stayed strong. Some moaned and groaned about it, but since Harry was spending a lot of time with Dumbledore, he went with him to a staff meeting. Harry told them how much he appreciated them doing it for him and he didn't want to be a burden to any of them over the holidays. One thing Harry said had them feeling sorry they even tried to argue the point, "I'll make sure I stay with Dumbledore at all times as to not get in your guy's ways."

Harry remembered that and how he was going to have a heavy guard submission on his trip to Hogsmeade. Remus and some other Order members were going to be going. He was glad that Severus wasn't going to be there. He didn't need Severus getting caught or what he was buying him.

The staff was going to make Harry's Christmas a memory he would cherish forever. They had to be careful though, Harry tended to get depressed at random moments of time. Even in the happiest of moods, Harry would get depressed at the drop of a coin.

Harry continued down the Entrance Hall and ascended the stairs. He turned a corner and came to the magical staircases. He followed his usual route and said the password to the Fat Lady. He entered the room and was greeted by all. Harry smiled at them all and walked over to Hermione.

"Here is your cat, Hermione. He was roaming in the dungeons," Harry said.

Hermione took Crookshanks and eyed Harry, "What were you doing down in the dungeons by yourself, Harry?"

Harry turned red and said, "I was looking for something."

"Harry! You know you aren't supposed to be in the dungeons alone! With no magic, the Slytherins will kill you!" Hermione shrieked at Harry.

"Hermione, it's okay! Draco was watching me," Harry said, taking a seat next to Hermione on the couch.

Ron came down the stairs from the boy's dormitory, "What's wrong here?"

"Harry was in the dungeons alone," Hermione said.

"I was not!" Harry yelled in protest. The whole room was now watching their proceedings.

"Harry, you know better! You aren't supposed to roam the castle unattended!" Ron yelled, gripping Harry's shoulders fiercely.

Harry looked up at Ron, scared and said, "Ron, you're hurting me."

Hermione looked at Ron's white knuckles and gasped. Harry was surely going to have a bruise there. It looked as though Ron's grip was tightening.

Harry began trembling, "Ron, you're hurting me!" Harry all but screamed.

"RON!" Hermione screeched. She stood up and took hold of Ron's hands. She tried pulling, but his grip seemed to tighten.

Harry began crying, silently, his tears streamed down his face. Hermione did the only thing she could think of, "_Stupefy!_"

Ron let go of Harry as the spell hit his side. He fell to the floor and Hermione checked Harry. She removed his outer robes and undid the top buttons of Harry's shirt. She slid the collar to the side and saw the bruise marks that were left on his shoulder. She checked his other shoulder and the same marks were there as well. She pulled Harry into a hug.

Hermione whispered into Harry's ear, "I'm sure he didn't mean it, Harry."

Harry stood up and pulled his pretty much useless wand out. He kneeled beside the fallen Ron and said, "_Ennervate._" A little spark came out from the end of his wand, but otherwise it was dead. Harry sighed and stood up. Harry smiled slightly and said, "I'm sure he was just worried about me. Ron is always worrying about others."

Hermione walked over to Ron and yelled, "Everyone, it's late, you should go to bed." No one wanted to mess with Hermione when she was in full-blown motherly mode. Mostly everyone went upstairs, save for a few people, mainly the ones in their year.

Hermione knelt beside Ron and pulled her wand out. "_Ennervate._" Ron shot up and was soon met with a pounding headache.

"Where's Harry?" Ron asked as he rubbed his head.

"I'm right here," Harry said, stepping to the side of Hermione.

"Harry, I am sorry! I didn't mean to! I don't know what went over me, but I felt enraged about you going off alone. You couldhave gotten killed!" Ron stood up and pulled Harry into a hug, "You are my best friend Harry, I don't want to see you die."

Harry's face brightened, "I think I am going to go stay with the Headmaster tonight. Will you guys walk with me?" Harry asked and came out of the hug.

Everyone in Harry's year nodded. Harry smiled and together they walked out of the common room. They got to the Entrance Hall and the bell signifying curfew rang. They looked at each other, but they had a good reason. They continued down the hall and up a flight of stairs.

"It is passed curfew," a deep baritone voice said, "what are you still doing out of bed?"

Everyone turned and looked at their most hated professor. Well, almost everyone hated him. "Um, good evening Professor," Hermione began nervously. "We were just taking Harry to the Headmaster's office. He is going to stay there for the night."

"Fifty points from Gryffindor," Severus smirked and walked closer to them. They were gawking at him. "You should have called a teacher."

"But sir—" Hermione began but was cut off.

"Five points for talking back to a teacher."

Everyone was grinding their teeth. Harry was just shocked to see him taking so many points. Well, it wasn't really a big surprise, it was just, all of the other teachers would just let him and his friends go.

Harry stepped forward, "Sir, you are not being fair."

Severus stepped right up to Harry and got right in his face, "Just because you have no magic, Potter, does not mean you get special treatment."

Harry glared daggers at the man. Severus smirked and pulled back. "Off to your common room, I will take Potter to the Headmaster's office."

Everyone looked at Harry sadly. Harry just smiled sadly and shrugged his bruised shoulders. He winced a little and Severus caught it. Once all of Harry's friends turned the corner, Severus rested a hand on Harry's shoulder. Harry flinched and winced. Severus lifted his arm and turned Harry to him.

"What happened to your shoulder?"

Harry smiled and said, "I'll tell you while we walk."

They began walking and Harry told him the story. "Ron just put too much pressure on them, that's all."

Severus stopped Harry and pulled him toward himself. He pulled Harry into an alcove and unbuttoned the few top buttons of his shirts. He uncovered Harry's shoulders and gasped, "A _little_ too hard! That is a bloodyblack bruise!"

"Severus, it's fine, he was just worried about me is all. He was right. I shouldn't have been in the corridors alone. Just don't blame him, blame me." Harry hugged Severus.

Severus sighed and put his arms around Harry's small frame. "You are such an insufferable brat."

"But you like it when I am that way," Harry said.

Severus lifted Harry's chin, "You know it." Severus leaned in and captured Harry's lips. Severus pulled back. "Shall we go?"

Harry smiled and buttoned his shirt up, "I guess so."

Severus guided Harry out of the alcove. They walked down the halls till they came to Dumbledore's office. Harry gave the password. Severus rolled his eyes as Harry stuck his tongue out at him. Harry ascended the stairs as Severus walked away.

Harry opened the door to Dumbledore's office and walked in. He was greeted by Dumbledore.

Harry stayed up for an hour talking to Dumbledore. He went to bed with happy thoughts, but he had no way to block the nightmares. No one knew, but Harry had them at least twice a night. He ended up only getting three hours of sleep every night.

Harry was in for one Hell of a night.

* * *

**_To Be Continued…_**

**Author's Note:** Well, I hope this chapter wasn't disappointing. I kind of left you with a cliffie, so don't hate me. Sorry if it was short, but I wanted to give you guys something. I hope you enjoyed it!

Please review!


	3. Shifting Abundances

Author's Note: WOW! I didn't think I would get so many reviews! I was crying when I checked my stats and then I saw all the e-mails I had. Thank you for the wonderful reviews. This story has more than twice the amount of reviews than Nothing is Ever the Same does. It makes me proud! Also, I would like to apologize for the long wait for this chapter, I have been so busy with all my schoolwork and the fact that I got a laptop that didn't let me use Microsoft Word. So, I am back and hope to update as much as I can! I LOVE YOU ALL! Thank you! Now on with the other stuff!

**Warning:** Adult themes and SLASH.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, only the plot.

Pairing: Harry Potter/Severus Snape

This is dedicated to **Saadia10511**.

Now, on with the story…

**On the Way Down**

Chapter 3: Shifting Abundances

"_It seems we have a high advantage in a few days, my Lord," said a very low-pitched voice to a man sitting in the center of the room. This man was one of many in the room standing in front of a snake-like man._

"_It seems we do, Goyle," the snake-like man said as he stood up and walked to the only window in the room. Out the window, he saw a great big castle. "I will get him, he will be mine, and I will make him feel as powerless as he is, won't I, Potter?"_

* * *

Harry shot awake in a cold sweat. The sun's light was streaming through his bedroom window in the Headmaster's office. In a few days the trip to Hogsmeade would occur and the supposed Death Eater attack as well. _'I need to tell the Headmaster,' _Harry thought. He threw the sheets off of himself and ran to his door, outside, he heard some voices, but this was an emergency. Just as he reached for the doorknob, a sudden thought occurred to him. Everyone would find out he wasn't getting enough sleep and they wouldn't allow him to go to Hogsmeade.

Harry turned back around and shuffled over to a spare trunk with some of his clothes in it. He pulled out a pair of jeans that were at least four times his size, a belt with extra holes punched into it so it would fit him, anda shirt that was also way too big. He grabbed a towel and the rest of his bathroom necessities and headed to the bathroom and turned on the water in the bath and then pulled the lever that would allow the water to come out from the shower head. He took off his clothes and tested the water. It was nice and warm, so he stepped into the shower and so began his morning routine of getting ready.

* * *

As Harry stepped out of the bathroom, he noticed that his room had been completely tidied up and the Headmaster was waiting on his bed. Harry smiled and walked over to his nightstand and picked up his wand. He walked back to the Headmaster and the Headmaster asked, "Are you ready to head down to breakfast?"

Harry smiled and made a request, "Can I not sit at the table with the other students? I just don't feel up to big speeches." Harry's smile faltered and the Headmaster noticed. He gave Harry his own smile to show his support and stood up.

As Harry and the Headmaster walked to the Great Hall, a cutting curse was thrown at Harry from an invisible attacker. Harry pulled his wand out, but the curse hit him on his wrist. The Headmaster was on his toes as the second cutting charm flew at Harry who was grasping the deep gash on his wrist. The Headmaster said a very complicated charm and the curse was suspended in mid-air and sent straight back to the person who used it, but the spell hit a wall. Harry's attacker had fled. The Headmaster sent Harry a worried look, but Harry just smiled. Dumbledore transfigured a set of bandages and wrapped them around his wrist.

"Thank you, Headmaster," Harry said.

"People are getting desperate," the Headmaster said as he pulled Harry into a comforting hug. "We'll have Pomfrey look at it while at breakfast." Harry nodded and dropped his head. He was getting tired of being babied. He just wanted his magic back.

He followed the Headmaster to the side entrance of the Great Hall. They entered and Harry followed the Headmaster to Madame Pomfrey who immediately gasped when she saw his wrist. The staff knew about Harry's past problem with cutting, so they all assumed that when they saw his bloody bandage and how it was beginning to drip that he had cut himself on purpose.

"Harry, you didn't, did you?" Pomfrey asked as she lifted his wrist. Harry shook his head and gave a weak smile. Now the whole hall was watching them as she unwrapped the bloody bandage. Harry swayed slightly. A strong grip tightened on his shoulder and he winced slightly. He turned his head and saw Dumbledore with a weak smile on his face.

"He was attacked on our way to the Great Hall. I didn't respond fast enough," the Headmaster said and the Slytherin table was filled with whispered glee. The Gryffindor table had worried looks flashing around.

Pomfrey nodded her head and pulled her wand out. She sealed the wound with a simple charm and smiled at Harry. The whole table smiled at Harry, except Snape who was glaring at all the students in the room. Harry took a seat between the Headmaster and McGonagall. Harry picked up his fork and food appeared on his plate. He pushed it around and his eyes drooped closed. All he heard were feet scuffling out of the room to head to class.

* * *

Harry didn't go to classes that day, or the next, he just slept. It was odd though, he didn't have any form of nightmare. There were a few other attempts at Harry's life, but for the most part, he was well protected.

As the days slipped by, Harry grew excited for his trip to Hogsmeade. The whole school was excited, spreading around the Christmas joy. Though some were worried about Voldemort and the fact that he might attack, Harry held all that information in. He was tired of being held back.

He rarely attended classes, but he did spend most of his time with the staff. He learned a lot from them. He learned all that he had missed. Granted permission from the Headmaster, Harry was allowed to attend classes till he got his magic back as a student aid. He could shuffle about classes doing tasks for other teachers. The Headmaster would go with him most of the time for Harry's safety.

* * *

The day finally came for the big Hogsmeade trip. The students left first and Harry's entourage showed up to escort him to Hogsmeade. Hermione and Ron left early so they could get Harry's shopping done and over with. They were going to meet up with him later.

"You ready Harry?"

Harry turned and looked into Remus' eyes. Harry smiled and the werewolf put an arm around Harry's shoulder. "Yeah, I'm ready whenever."

"Great. Let's move along." Remus and the rest of the guard surrounded Harry. Harry waved goodbye to those that weren't going and together with his guard, they left for Hogsmeade.

Everyone kept a tight grip on their wands as they moved along the path. As they approached Hogsmeade, giggles were heard in the distant. Harry sighed in relief. _'Good, nothing has happened yet. Hopefully I can get my shopping done quick enough.'_

They entered the streets of Hogsmeade and they led Harry to his first stop of the day. Harry rushed in with an Order member at his side and found the gift he wanted for Remus. It was a new set of robes and a new leather cloak. _'He really needs new ones. Ones that won't rip so easily.'_ Harry gave the lady at the counter money for his purchases and had her gift wrap it for him.

Harry and the Order member rushed out of the store, Harry giving the woman a smile as they left. An Order member shrunk his package and Harry placed it in his pocket with a bid of thanks.

Continuing onward, Harry walked into his next store, a Quidditch supply store. There he bought Ron a new broom and an autographed poster of Ron's favorite Quidditch team, the Chudley Canon's. It was signed by all the players. He smiled inwardly. Ron would blow a gasket. It was worth a pretty galleon, but his friend was worth it. He would risk his life for him if the time came.

Out the store with Harry's gift wrapped purchases and yet again, an Order member shrunk the package. Continuing, they came to Harry's next store. He walked in with Remus who followed Harry every which way. Harry found a gift for Hermione and for Dumbledore. He picked up a heavy tome named, _Every Field of Magic and the History of Their Origin_. Harry thought Hermione might like it. For Dumbledore he got a pair of purple robes with shooting stars that he asked Remus to charm to actually shoot along the cloth. He asked for his packages to be wrapped in colorful Christmas wrap. The clerk did that and Harry pulled out his money.

"What did you want for Christmas Harry?" Remus looked at Harry quizzically. He obviously hadn't gotten anything for him as of yet.

Harry smiled, "For all to be right in the world."

"You're sounding like the Headmaster."

Harry chuckled, "Well, all's well that ends well, I guess."

Remus looked highly confused at Harry's meaning. Harry gave the clerk the money and Remus shrunk the packages. They walked out and next door to their next store, an accessory store. Again, Remus went with Harry. Harry walked up and down the aisles, examining everything. He walked to the front and found exactly what he wanted to get Draco. He asked the witch at the front if he could see the item. She nodded and pulled out the item from the glass case. It was an onyx ring. It had diamonds inserted around the band. Harry looked on the inside, inscribed were the words _Specialis Praesul._

"What does this mean?" Harry asked the lady.

She looked on the inside of the ring. "That means, if my Latin isn't rusty, _Secret Protector_."

Harry smiled. "I'll take it. Can you gift wrap it?"

"Of course. It wouldn't be Christmas without gift wrap." She chuckled and wrapped it in green paper with silver bells. Harry gave her the money and Harry slipped the box into his pocket. Harry waved to the lady as he walked out of the store, Remus following close behind.

Their last stop was at an apothecary. Harry trotted in with Remus following behind.

"What do you need from here?"

Harry blushed, "I need some potion ingredients and what not."

"Oh, okay," Remus said, sensing that Harry was lying.

Harry walked quickly through the dark store. He quickly found the things he wanted. They walked to the counter to pay for everything. Harry had picked up a wide arrangement of ingredients. He even found some unicorns blood. The clerk came out and a dusty bottle caught his eye. It was a small phial that was filled with a light blue potion.

"What's that?" Harry asked, pointing at the small phial.

"Too pricey for you is what it is," the man said snootily.

Harry glared at the man, "Please tell me what it is?"

"It's a life regenerate potion. It clears the system of any poison that enters the body. Very complicated to make. That is the last known phial in Europe."

"How much?" Harry asked with defiance.

"Harry!" Remus was shocked that he was considering buying it.

"Fifty-two galleons," the man said.

Harry put his other ingredients on the counter. "I'll take it and all of this."

Remus' and the clerk's eyes went wide.

"Gift wrap it all as well please."

"Um... Harry, are you sure you should be spending this much?"

"It'll be fine." Harry waved Remus off. He gave the clerk the money and Remus shrunk everything for Harry. "Thanks. This isall for today. Let's go meet up with Ron and Hermione then head back to Hogwarts."

They left the apothecary and met up with Ron and Hermione in the Three Broomsticks. They all bought a butterbeer and carried them outside.

"How was your shopping, Harry? Get everything you wanted to get?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah, it all went pretty--"

A loud bang rang throughout Hogsmeade. It came from the direction of Zonko's Joke Shop. Harry dropped his butterbeer to the ground.Students were running away from the store and into other stores. The Order members grouped tightly around Harry, Hermione, and Ron.

"Harry, stay between us. We need to run back to Hogwarts," Remus yelled over the commotion.

Harry wouldn't leave the younger students, or anyone for that matter. Harry pushed his way through the Order members. Ron and Hermione were still stuck between them. He ran through the dust. Along the way, he stumbled across his old Quidditch teammate, Yuri Scott. She was lying on the ground face down. Harry picked her up. She was still breathing. He swung her onto his back and ran through the crowd, yelling at people to get inside. A spell flew past his shoulder, hitting a fellow student in the back. Harry turned around and checked the student. It was a Slytherin. He knelt down and rolled the person over. It was a fifth year boy.

Shadows emerged from the thick dust. White masks under black cloaks stopped in their tracks. More shadows swooped down from the sky. The area all of a sudden got icy cold. A lone figure emerged from the line of Death Eaters.

"Ah, Potter, how nice of you to join us."

"Voldemort," Harry stated with rage.

"Who else, Potter?" Voldemort questioned, pulling out his wand.

"I won't let you kill anyone," Harry yelled, pulling out his own wand.

"So, magicless Potter thinks he can beat me."

"Yes," Harry stated plainly.

"I wasn't planning on killing anyone today, Potter, but I think I will, starting with that girl on your back. _Avada Kedavra!_"

"NO!" Harry yelled, turning his back, pulling both the students to him for their protection. The spell slammed into his back. Harry gasped, falling forward, the back of his robes burned.

"Harry!" Hermione screamed. The Order members stood there, their wands outstretched in front of them.

Voldemort and his Death Eaters laughed menacingly. "Ickle Potter, always the need to be the protector."

* * *

_**To Be Continued...**_

Author's Note: Does Harry really die, or is there something more? Wait till next time. In the meantime, review. The next chapter may be out soon, depending on the amount of reviews I get. This story and _A Feathered Sonata _will be updated as much as possible, I don't know about _Nothing is Ever the Same._

For everyone's information, the lyrics in the first chapter were deleted because I like keeping my account. So, my thanks to the people who reviewed are below.

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Thanks everyone! Please Review!


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